Kill, Steal, and Destroy

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Since Sunday after church service, the enemy has been fast on my heels. Just pushing, prodding, working, wearing me down, wanting to steal my joy that God gives me. And let me tell you, but I’m sure you already know, he uses people he knows will irritate you the most. Sunday afternoon he used my youngest son’s father to harass me, take me down the road of anger, rage, and ugliness. He had him using insults, lies, and ugliness. I shared it with my lil big bro Carlos and he told me, he was probably sitting next to him telling him what to text you because he couldn’t come up with some of the stuff he said to me on his own. I prayed hard, yes I was hurt, he may have injured me, but God covered my wound and I got back up. Monday before I walked into work I said, “God guide me today and steer those away from me who only mean harm and nastiness.” I opened the door and there was the enemy looking straight at me, beckoning me down the stairs, walking the halls of the school, right into the office. He was running wild that day. I angered easily and was not myself at all. I asked my close friend, Mr. Xiong, who is a great guy who is a believer to the fullest, to pray for me and to please help me get through the day. I got through it, got to my workout class with my lil big bro Carlos, who is also my HIIT trainer, we talked, he prayed for me and I felt much better.

I bought this book 2 weeks ago and had set it aside to read later, ironically titled, “There’s A Crack In Your Armor”, by Perry Stone. On pages 31 and 32 he says, “You may not see the armor with your natural eyes just as Job did not see the hedge around him with his natural eyes (Job 1:10), but the adversary knows if you’re fully clothed or partially naked, and he knows if you truly believe or if you are going to ‘fake it till you make it’.” When I read that, I sat there and shook my head at myself. I said, “Andi, how could you have let him?” I know this. I wondered if I had slacked, if I had lost some faith, what was it? Perry went on to say that as soldiers, we’d never go to battle with no armor and that temptations, trials, and attacks are all part of the warfare. I was upset with myself.

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So today, after having read what I had last night, I thought to myself, I’m going to be ready. I prayed on my armor, a hedge of protection for myself and my kids. I thought, “I’m ready!” I wasn’t in the school for 10 minutes, when here comes his minions, people who seemed they came out for blood. Full on attacks, coming from all over. I literally felt the blows. I was becoming overwhelmed. I had not felt this type of anger in a long time. It was rising. I called my close friend, Mr. Xiong (who is a safety at our school also) on the walkie and asked him to come to my desk area. It’s as if he knew what I needed because he came right away. He said, “what’s up?” I must have had a look on my face because he knew instantly. I said, “I need your help, I mean I prayed this morning and asked Him to deflect all evilness that would come my way”, as I hung my head in defeat. He said, “But remember that what you pray for, the enemy knows what you prayed for too, he will try his hardest to get at you.” I almost wanted to cry in defeat and I think he knew too. See, I’m not one to cry. That’s a new emotion for me, believe it or not. I said, “Then did I fail in my prayers?” He said, “We never fail in prayer, sometimes we fall while we are in battle, but I’m here to help you get back up because I believe as you do and remember, 2 is better than one.” He winked at me and walked away. I love that guy. He’s so positive all the time and I always know he’s around for me to go to when I need prayer. Even at work. So, yes, today I am guilty of saying things out of haste, having ill feelings toward others, and dropping a few F bombs. I am not perfect, but I should know better is how I feel. My lil big bro Carlos said, “You must be getting closer to some kind of break through because the enemy works overtime when we get closer to our purpose, he doesn’t want us to reach it and fulfill it.” I love these two men in my life. I am so glad and happy that God put them in my life to help guide me on my journey.

Tomorrow I need to be ready, I am not going to give him the opportunity to ruin what God has given me and keeps giving me. Whomever I may have offended today, I will apologize and be sincere about it. They were just tools being used by him and they probably didn’t even know it. He has no power over me, he wants me to think that, but I know better than that. My Father is bigger and more powerful than he ever will be. Yea, I know that he wanted me to be who I was and who I could be back in the day. I wasn’t a very nice person, but as Mr. Xiong reminded me before I left, “You are no longer her, you’re a new creature.” May God continue to bless Mr. Xiong and my lil big bro Carlos, two of my own personal angels He sent me. Thank you Father!!!

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You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light

Whom shall I fear

You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my sword and shield
Though troubles linger still

Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory

Whom shall I fear
Whom shall I fear

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I’m holding on to Your promises

You are faithful
You are faithful

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I’m holding on to Your promises

You are faithful
You are faithful
You are faithful

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The one who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

The God of angel armies
Is always by my side

Whom Shall I Fear – Chris Tomlin

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9 comments

  1. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” -Joshua 1:9 I know you will overcome that, and you will be victorious in the end 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  2. It sounds very much as if Yahweh is training you to enter into the Warrior Level. There is a point in our spiritual growth where we have to engage the enemy and overcome. This is all done in the Spirit.
    Notice the attacks are in the spirit and the physical is peripheral.
    Recently, these attacks have gone to a whole other level. Satan knows his time is short and goes about seeking whom he may devour.
    Begin to understand the nature of these and where they are coming from. Block them and break them as if in hand to hand combat. Do this in Yeshua’s name and in his blood (the Spirit of Christ in our blood) by commanding these things in the Spirit. You will find more success on the spiritual level than you’ll ever find in trying to deal with this on the physical plane.

    Liked by 1 person

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