So, if you haven’t noticed, I haven’t written much lately. I’ve been battling some things, demons, evil spirits, spirits of addiction, etc and so on. And yesterday I came to a head and just broke down and cried out and said to God, “I’m tired Lord, just tired, why does it have to always be me? Why do I have to be the strong one? It’s not fair, why, why, why?!?” Yup just have a regular tantrum with the Lord. After I was finishing being a crybaby, I thought to myself, He is probably saying right now, “if you only knew and understood why you wouldn’t be asking.” Either I thought that or He was telling me that. So this morning I always listen to sermon while getting ready for work. Today it was the 2nd part of a Dr. Jeffers sermon. As I pushed play I heard, ” you ask Him why? Why am I going through this? Why me? And the answer is because He’s God and because He can.” I laughed out loud because I knew that was Him sending me that message after my tantrum. Dr. Jeffers went on to say, “we think that God is being mean to us because we struggle or go through trials, but He’s preparing you, and He don’t want us to be a rare steak, or medium rare, He wants us to be well done! He will keep you in the fire until you are done and He’s ready to take you out of the fire!” And again I laughed because He got me again.
See my struggles are with my older son. I’ve been praying and rebuking these evil demon spirits of addiction who have gotten a hold of him. And sometimes I get tired but I know all I have to do is call on the Lord and use the divine powers He has given us to demolish these strongholds.
I’m asking all of you followers to please pray with me, for my son, that he be delivered from these strongholds of addiction. United in prayer and using what He gave us, we can crush those demon spirits! Amen? Amen!
So I’ve had a rough last couple of weeks in the workplace. EXTREMELY hard. All that kept happening was getting me pushed up against a wall. I was given the “promotion” of co-managing the office with the other head secretary, (without a raise). He told me because I was a natural born leader, always motivating, and pushing people to be their best and especially because I didn’t care what others thought about me, which he said, is rare. Well I don’t know about all that stuff but I do know that if you tell me I can’t, I will show you it can be done.
I came up against some opposition from the person I thought would least likely give me trouble. As she was my friend who brought me to her church almost 2 years ago. At the time, I took it personally, like what? Who is this person? I kept asking God, what am I missing, what am I not seeing? Mind you, I had personal battles going on at the same time as this. I kept it together saying, God won’t give me more than I can handle. Everyday it was something new. I kept pushing forward, tired, physically, mentally, and spiritually. Finally, this weekend I saw what He needed me to see. I was praying and fell asleep. I saw another co worker of mine hunched over, as if in pain, and heard these words, “She is hurt”. Then I turned and I was standing in a quonset, a building made of corrugated metal and having a semicircular cross section, and I saw steel beams being piled in front of me and I saw myself either hugging my friend from church or blocking her from something. The funny thing is that I could hear the tv and tried waking up. When I did I was like what was that? I left it at that. Sunday at church, I prayed and again I heard, “she is hurt” and my other coworker came to mind. The sermon fit the bill, as God always seems to do that to me. Pastor spoke of not letting the enemy divide was should be united; that if your friend, saved or not, complained or felt ill, that we were supposed to join them in prayer and not claim the illness or ill feeling. I instantly saw myself in that quonset again. See, I think my friend from church was/is needing reinforcement and I’m supposed to give it to her, protect her instead of letting the enemy use someone close to us to divide us. I told my friend today at work, as yesterday there was no time to tell her after service. I said, i don’t know if that’s what I’m supposed to do or if that is what that means, but I’m going with my gut, my spirit is telling me to. My coworker, whom He showed me and said she was hurt, she doesn’t realize that she’s being used by the enemy, so together my friend and I will pray it up and lift us all up in prayer to kick that enemy out of our united circle. He has no place there, never will have place there, ever!
I struggled these last few weeks, man did I ever. But had I not, I wouldn’t know what to do when He showed me. He’s been doing a lot of that lately. Showing me things, just as I’m about to wake up or just as I am falling asleep.
I’m glad I had the eyes to see, ears to hear, and the heart to accept. Thank you Father! Ever so faithful.