This entire month, and maybe even before, I have been struggling. Everyone would tell me all the things above. But I was so hurt and just wanted to curl up in my bed and disappear from the world. Honestly! It has been this bad. I know the enemy was whispering his rotten nothings into my ear every chance he got and throwing some low blows at me and kicking me when I was down. As a matter of fact, I might’ve let him, no, I did let him. I was giving in and giving up because I didn’t want to hear anyone or listen to what I know is the truth. I was acting like a big wimp. I know this was really frustrating to my lil big bro Carlos. He was always lifting me up and telling me to seek Him in all and in everything. I would tell him that I was tired and why me??? Why this or why that? And still, he’d send me something to lift me up and let me know that he was praying for me. Now, Carlos’ own big brother Marquis, would also lift me up with messages, songs, etc. They did everything as brothers in Christ are supposed to do. Lift and even carry you when you are down and can’t get up. And I am so grateful these two men of God are in my life, I am blessed!
Well, most of you know that I’m having a terrible time, well me and my little family are because my older son struggles with addiction. It’s been hard and trying. This and other things in my life have been under attack and everyone who knows me knows I am a fighter. But this time, I don’t know what happened. Wait, I know what happened. I had a tantrum that lasted a few weeks. I refused to speak to God at times, but when this would happen, he’d send someone with a message to let me know He was still there. Haha! What a great and wonderful Father we have. I know that these things are not of Him, but He’s allowed this struggle in order to build me up and ready me for what is to come. I just couldn’t embrace it. WEEEELLLLLLLL……..
Today at church, He showed up and showed out! You know how God likes to do me..THEATRICS! I was at service minding my own little business and here He comes working through the worship team, working through everyone actually. Pastor gets on the mike and starts spittin fire! Completely unleashed fire! Clear as day I heard Him say, “Let Me in, you are in this struggle for a reason, I trust you with this struggle, breakthrough is coming!” Can anyone say…HOLY GHOST! He was all over me, He was all over all of us! Approximately 10 people received the Holy Ghost today, it was absolutely amazing!
He told me what I needed to hear, what I’d been ignoring these past few weeks. He never left me, He never will. He is a faithful Father and will always send others to help you, push you, pull you, even carry you. (Not that He needs help) But He does the impossible. He is true to every single Word of His.
The enemy has been on full attack mode, low blowing me, kicking me when I’m down, well…..he’s got another thing coming! I was awakened today and I am ready. He forgets, or may have forgotten, for a little bit, who my Father is. He betta brace for impact because it’s on and popp’in!
I will continue to the weather the storm, reaching out for my Father’s hand. I will endure the struggle because I know breakthrough is on the horizon. My Father doesn’t lie. He is with me, He is with all of us. Believe! Hold on to your faith! He delivers what He promises.
Don’t let go!!