Tellin People No by EmJay

God spoke to me and told me I have to say “no”. I truly struggle with this though. I have to get out of His way. What I mean by this is giving, going extra, sacrificing etc for people, especially loved ones. I have gotten in trouble with God because I didn’t say “no”. God was purposely stretching, testing those people but here I come and bail them out of their situation. I didn’t ask Him if I could help them out or not. I just did it without checking with Him first. Their financial storm was His strategic doing but here I come calming the winds without His say so. I was out of His will and I was so wrong. Heart in the right place but I stepped on Abba’s toes. I was that big brother that was sad when my siblings got whoopins. I be sad when my loved ones goin through some troubles. I want to help any way I can. God has made it so I don’t have the money to help them or He makes me so busy and tired that I can’t give my time. I’ve given my people thousands before. Whether it was legal or B.C. illegal, if I had it or could find away to help, “I got you” was my final words. I think I could’ve been hurting them then helping them. Enabling, but thinking I’m showing love? Pushing them further away from God instead, wow. I’ve cried about this, literally. I ask Him how do I balance being a cheerful giver like the Word says without stepping out of turn with Him. Brother Marcus said something yesterday in service that made me gasp in shock. He said his love language is giving, specifically gifting. The Spirit shuddered in me like “message”. I fought tears then. I can’t help I have a servant’s heart. I don’t mean to sound carnal but it sometimes seems like a gift and a curse. Pastor told me I care which is a good strength but he followed with my weakness is I care too much. This is one of my top struggles. I don’t ask for it in return. I  don’t ask people for nothing don’t call in favors etc. My mom the only person I ask for small things and even that’s rare. I give when I’m broke, I’ve risked overdraft fees for some, lol. I’ve repented for getting in His way. God wants to be our only option unless He sends help. I have to say “no” unless He says it’s ok to bless them.
Bro. Marquis Johnson 

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